Friday, May 13, 2011
Friday, May 6, 2011
You can count on me like one, two, three...
SCATTERED THOUGHTS!
You gotta love how whenever you meet or talk to a Latin man, all they have for you is terms of endearment: Mi amor (my love), mi vida (my life), mi cielo (my heaven), linda (beautiful); it's quite nice. To think of the differences of where I grew up and where I am right now, is somewhat hard. My life back in Panama was something else completely, is like I switched movies, but still stay in touch with the characters from my previous one. I really do beliefe that God knows why I ended up here, like Pao and Ana used to say "You were born in the wrong country...". After being here for almost 7 years I do think there's some thruth to that. I can't even picture who I would be if I had stayed back home.
Canada has help me become the person I've always thought I would be. Far from perfect, but acknowledging my flaws and embracing that without them I wouldn't be ME is a blessing. I've taken all my insecurities and made them assets. Accertive, passionate, loud with practically no filters, intimidating, friendly, sociable -all words that have been used to describe me- bitch has been thrown in there sometimes as well, which I really don't mind being called at all since "bitch is just another word for feminist" as quoted by Gale Forman on If I Stay (fantastic novel btw! READ IT!)... Sometimes though, I still feel a little broken, but I do think we all feel a little broken at times, it's all part of being humans I guess.
So I re-read my first couple of entries from 3 years ago, and oh lord... jajajajajajaj (yes, I am using the spanish typed laugh) HILLARIOUS! That first post... Good old Trueblood, first season was still the best... And I guess I'm still working on my personal growth and what not. Not easy, but really, it is all that life is; a bunch of experiences thrown together, that make what we call our life and mold us to the person we are or are supposed to be at least... The thing is that sometimes we don't have any choice of what happens, and others we are the only ones who can decide.
Last night was all about Adele! Fuck she's amazing! Her voice, her lyrics, her passion and depth! SOUL, her music doesn't just have soul, it is her soul, and you can tell everytime you listen to her... I know I'm a little late getting into her but now that I have. WOW!
Rolling in the Deep
Reaching a fever pitch and it's bring me out the dark,
Finally, I can see you crystal clear,
Go ahead and sell me out and a I'll lay your ship bare,
See how I'll leave with every piece of you,
Don't underestimate the things that I will do,
There's a fire starting in my heart,
Reaching a fever pitch and it's bring me out the dark,
The scars of your love remind me of us,
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all,
The scars of your love, they leave me breathless,
I can't help feeling,
We could have had it all,
(You're gonna wish you never had met me),
Rolling in the deep,
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep),
You had my heart inside of your hand,
(You're gonna wish you never had met me),
And you played it to the beat,
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep),
Baby, I have no story to be told,
But I've heard one on you and I'm gonna make your head burn,
Think of me in the depths of your despair,
Make a home down there as mine sure won't be shared,
The scars of your love remind me of us,
(You're gonna wish you never had met me),
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all,
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep),
The scars of your love, they leave me breathless,
(You're gonna wish you never had met me),
I can't help feeling,
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep),
We could have had it all,
(You're gonna wish you never had met me),
Rolling in the deep,
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep),
You had my heart inside of your hands,
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
================================================================
You know when you start listening to a certain artist, and holy fuck they are good, you end up hooked on their music and you just can't believe it's taken this long for you to learn about them. You have no idea who this artist is, as in what they look like or where their from, all you know about them is their music. This happened to me recently; about 6 months ago I started listening to the very talented Paolo Nutini (sexy name I know), but I never really bother trying to find out what he looked like or anything. I fell for his music though. Sultry, raspy, sweet, deep, just amazing, talent pouring from all of it. Well, just this week I actually started watching a few of his videos, and let me tell you... PAOLO NUTINI has officially become my Beiber!
For those of you who actually know me, and know of my pickyness when it comes to guys... I am sure you can tell how much this beautiful male personifies all I look for in a guy!
PAOLO NUTINI = HOOOOOOTTTT!!!!
And then he sings:
Now tell me how YOU feel about this sexy Scottish guy.
================================================================
Cool as hell links:
GOODREADS.COM Can't stress it enough!
grooveshark.com
================================================================
"Sometimes you make choices in life and sometimes choices make you."
— Gayle Forman (If I Stay)
"Sometimes you make choices in life and sometimes choices make you."
— Gayle Forman (If I Stay)
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
And I'm going crazy...
Random questions:
Could it be because I read so much, and get lost in words and other worlds so easily?
How sad is it that all I think about lately is finding someone to actually fall in love with?
==============================================================
Anyhow, I didn't really write anything yesterday, but I'll make up for it today... I have a good excuse though, City of Fallen Angels! OMFG! What was Cassandra Clare thinking with that ending? Now I have to wait another year before knowing what happens! GRRRRRR! It's quite infuriating. Oh well, great story for sure though, amazing series!
Working on organization is not easy, even organizing thoughts is difficult. So, I decided that listing my thoughts as topic is the best initial road for me to take. It'll still be a little scattered, but it's a good start I think.
MUSIC:
Tuesday night was fantastic. I tried so hard to stay put at home, not go out. AS IF! With the boys playing drinking games (btw, I have made a personal challenge to learn how to spin a Canadian quarter with one hand by flicking it) and then rocking to Zac Deputy, and Bobash whispering in my ear to join them. How could I not?
The show was amazing, I danced and danced. The music, the energy, and the feeling, oh the feeling... Bodies jumping, dancing, sweating while feeling the flow of the tunes all around us; losing ourselves to it, it was beauty. Now, yesterday was not as pretty, as I woke up with a headache that haunted me for the rest of the day.
Random things to share:
Discoveries are fantastic, my latest one has been groveshark.com. I have fallen for that website. Great source for music!
Goodreads.com as well, LOVE LOVE LOVE it!
Also, as a closing for the any of my post, I will be adding a quote. It'll be of anything, as long as the quote has touched me previously. It might not even have anything to do with what I wrote about that day, but just something sweet to share.
Could it be because I read so much, and get lost in words and other worlds so easily?
How sad is it that all I think about lately is finding someone to actually fall in love with?
==============================================================
Anyhow, I didn't really write anything yesterday, but I'll make up for it today... I have a good excuse though, City of Fallen Angels! OMFG! What was Cassandra Clare thinking with that ending? Now I have to wait another year before knowing what happens! GRRRRRR! It's quite infuriating. Oh well, great story for sure though, amazing series!
Working on organization is not easy, even organizing thoughts is difficult. So, I decided that listing my thoughts as topic is the best initial road for me to take. It'll still be a little scattered, but it's a good start I think.
MUSIC:
Tuesday night was fantastic. I tried so hard to stay put at home, not go out. AS IF! With the boys playing drinking games (btw, I have made a personal challenge to learn how to spin a Canadian quarter with one hand by flicking it) and then rocking to Zac Deputy, and Bobash whispering in my ear to join them. How could I not?
The show was amazing, I danced and danced. The music, the energy, and the feeling, oh the feeling... Bodies jumping, dancing, sweating while feeling the flow of the tunes all around us; losing ourselves to it, it was beauty. Now, yesterday was not as pretty, as I woke up with a headache that haunted me for the rest of the day.
Random things to share:
Discoveries are fantastic, my latest one has been groveshark.com. I have fallen for that website. Great source for music!
Goodreads.com as well, LOVE LOVE LOVE it!
Also, as a closing for the any of my post, I will be adding a quote. It'll be of anything, as long as the quote has touched me previously. It might not even have anything to do with what I wrote about that day, but just something sweet to share.
"Yes, we praise women over 40 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it's not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-coiffed, hot woman over 40, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year old waitress. Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?", here's an update for you. Nowadays 80%of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage!"
— Andy Rooney
— Andy Rooney
Do you remember seeing the sun coming up easy?
Paolo Nutini has stolen my hearth! lol
CANDY
Funny how well I relate to that sentence.
===========================================================
Anyhow, putting some new shoes and starting my day.
So, a new day, and here I am trying to write again. I've gotten caught up in Cassandra Clare's City of Fallen Angels, which I'm enjoying immensely. I do find though, that this is more similar to the first book in the series, in the way that is building up to a new story line. Can hardly wait to see what happens.
Work as always is BORING! Still, this is going to be a fantastic day, even if it's supposed to rain. The Zac Deputy show was moved to tonight, I don't really t hink I want to go though. I feel like just staying home and relaxing.
My thoughts are so scattered. Hopefully as I develop this blog, I'll develop some sort of writing abilities. Since I've always planned to write a book or something to pass on to my sisters. My beautiful sisters. I am so proud of them, I know I didn't give birth to them, but being 11 and 13 years older than them does make a difference. It hasn't been until recently that I have been bonding with them, but really bonding. Specially with Isis, who's growing up to be a smart and mature young woman. Andrea is heading on the same direction, though, I know it.
It really is exceptional that they're doing so well, taking in count the circumstances of the past 3 years, Dad battling with cancer and religion becoming the number thing is their household. It really does scare me sometimes that all the praying is gonna get to them, and they'll rebel and go crazy... Naaaahhh... That wouldn't happen, I know better and so do they...
I do hate though the fact that I've missed their childhood, but God knows why he does what he does, and he must have me here for a greater reason...
CANDY
I was perched outside in the pouring rainAll they do is keep me waiting and waiting...
Trying to make myself a sail
Then I'll float to you my darlin'
With the evening on my tail
Although not the most honest means of travel
It gets me there nonetheless
I'm a heartless man at worst, babe
And a helpless one at best
Darling I'll bathe your skin
I'll even wash your clothes
Just give me some candy, before I go
Oh, darling I'll kiss your eyes
And lay you down on your rug
Just give me some candy
After my heart
Oh I'm often false explaining
But to her it plays out all the same
and although I'm left defeated
It get's held against my name
I know you got plenty to offer baby
But I guess I've taken quite enough
Well I'm some stain there on your bedsheet
You're my diamond in the rough
Darling I'll bathe your skin
I'll even wash your clothes
Just give me some candy
before I go
Oh, darling I'll kiss your eyes
And lay you down on your rug
Just give me some candy
After my heart
I know that there´re writings on the wall
But Darling I'll bathe your skin
I'll even wash your clothes
Just give me some candy
After my heart
Oh I'll be there waiting for you (repeat)
Funny how well I relate to that sentence.
===========================================================
Anyhow, putting some new shoes and starting my day.
So, a new day, and here I am trying to write again. I've gotten caught up in Cassandra Clare's City of Fallen Angels, which I'm enjoying immensely. I do find though, that this is more similar to the first book in the series, in the way that is building up to a new story line. Can hardly wait to see what happens.
Work as always is BORING! Still, this is going to be a fantastic day, even if it's supposed to rain. The Zac Deputy show was moved to tonight, I don't really t hink I want to go though. I feel like just staying home and relaxing.
My thoughts are so scattered. Hopefully as I develop this blog, I'll develop some sort of writing abilities. Since I've always planned to write a book or something to pass on to my sisters. My beautiful sisters. I am so proud of them, I know I didn't give birth to them, but being 11 and 13 years older than them does make a difference. It hasn't been until recently that I have been bonding with them, but really bonding. Specially with Isis, who's growing up to be a smart and mature young woman. Andrea is heading on the same direction, though, I know it.
It really is exceptional that they're doing so well, taking in count the circumstances of the past 3 years, Dad battling with cancer and religion becoming the number thing is their household. It really does scare me sometimes that all the praying is gonna get to them, and they'll rebel and go crazy... Naaaahhh... That wouldn't happen, I know better and so do they...
I do hate though the fact that I've missed their childhood, but God knows why he does what he does, and he must have me here for a greater reason...
Monday, May 2, 2011
I had sworn to myself that I am content with loneliness...
Monday, back to work. Urgh! I wanted to stay in bed soooo bad!
Well, it was a good weekend. Friday night was a bit of a shit show after work, when I met up the ladies and headed to O's. Although, while at work it was a little awkward since QT from St Patty's day plays music at my work sometimes. And he was there Friday night. I spent the whole time at work with this big ass smile plastered on my face! Not cool, specially since his baby's mama was there.
Anyhow! Get to O's and holy was there ever a bunch of very fine looking guys lol, not that it did ME any good.
There's this thing I do not understand about men, and I guess never will. Why do they go for trashy girls??! and, and what is up with this girls?? I do not comprehend what would possess a woman, to dress like cheap prostitute. Not even a high en call girl. But a full on skank, straight up and hands down! And men are attracted to this girls! Crazy! But I guess they do end up giving it up easy
I was bad Saturday. Schedule myself for some OT at work, but completely forgot to set my alarm and as always slept in till one. SHAME ON ME. At least I did have a good day; finished If I Stay, what a pretty story, it had me on the brink of tears the whole time, very touching; Then Bobash, Sarah and I went thrift shopping at Frenchy's; after that I found out I didn't have to work at the cafe. That kinda sucked because I do want the money, but Oh, well! Ended up at the gay bar that night with Bobash, Seannie and all his gay posy. I swear those kids have all pretty much done each other, so much drama.
Sunday was great! I slept in, which was fantastic. Started reading City of Fallen Angels, by Cassandra Clare (amazing author!). Then headed to the peninsula for Nick's Bady, I thank God greatly for the blessing of allowing his family this time with him. It was very nice to share that experience with them. Age has a very beautiful family. When I got back to my place I finally clean my room. I need to stop being so damn lazy.
I have this idea of the type of life I want to lead and the type of person I want to be, but it feels like there's something inside me -a little voice of sorts- that tells me to just take it easy, that whatever it is can wait. But as time passes I keep thinking there really isn't that much time. I'm about to turn 25 and I haven't accomplish half the stuff I've wanted to accomplish. Not cool! I HAVE TO MAKE A COMMITMENT WITH MYSELF!
So, I'm loving www.goodreads.com, what an awesome website! I got my first giveaway last Friday. Various Positions: A novel by Schabas Martha, I'm excited to read it as it doesn't come out till June 28, 2011. Any website that sends me free books, I'm sold!
Now it's Monday, and I'm at work. Fuck I hate it! it's overwhelming to think of all that I need to do, and I only have 3 more months to get it done! This is crazy! I know for a fact it will all work out, but at the same time it is really scary. Being a grownup is not easy man.
=========================================================================
I'm going to commit to write, for at least 10 minutes daily. I'll probably end up just rambling, but whatever it takes. This is going to be my own way of self therapy.
Gonna take a break now and actually do some work...
Well, it was a good weekend. Friday night was a bit of a shit show after work, when I met up the ladies and headed to O's. Although, while at work it was a little awkward since QT from St Patty's day plays music at my work sometimes. And he was there Friday night. I spent the whole time at work with this big ass smile plastered on my face! Not cool, specially since his baby's mama was there.
Anyhow! Get to O's and holy was there ever a bunch of very fine looking guys lol, not that it did ME any good.
There's this thing I do not understand about men, and I guess never will. Why do they go for trashy girls??! and, and what is up with this girls?? I do not comprehend what would possess a woman, to dress like cheap prostitute. Not even a high en call girl. But a full on skank, straight up and hands down! And men are attracted to this girls! Crazy! But I guess they do end up giving it up easy
I was bad Saturday. Schedule myself for some OT at work, but completely forgot to set my alarm and as always slept in till one. SHAME ON ME. At least I did have a good day; finished If I Stay, what a pretty story, it had me on the brink of tears the whole time, very touching; Then Bobash, Sarah and I went thrift shopping at Frenchy's; after that I found out I didn't have to work at the cafe. That kinda sucked because I do want the money, but Oh, well! Ended up at the gay bar that night with Bobash, Seannie and all his gay posy. I swear those kids have all pretty much done each other, so much drama.
Sunday was great! I slept in, which was fantastic. Started reading City of Fallen Angels, by Cassandra Clare (amazing author!). Then headed to the peninsula for Nick's Bady, I thank God greatly for the blessing of allowing his family this time with him. It was very nice to share that experience with them. Age has a very beautiful family. When I got back to my place I finally clean my room. I need to stop being so damn lazy.
I have this idea of the type of life I want to lead and the type of person I want to be, but it feels like there's something inside me -a little voice of sorts- that tells me to just take it easy, that whatever it is can wait. But as time passes I keep thinking there really isn't that much time. I'm about to turn 25 and I haven't accomplish half the stuff I've wanted to accomplish. Not cool! I HAVE TO MAKE A COMMITMENT WITH MYSELF!
So, I'm loving www.goodreads.com, what an awesome website! I got my first giveaway last Friday. Various Positions: A novel by Schabas Martha, I'm excited to read it as it doesn't come out till June 28, 2011. Any website that sends me free books, I'm sold!
Now it's Monday, and I'm at work. Fuck I hate it! it's overwhelming to think of all that I need to do, and I only have 3 more months to get it done! This is crazy! I know for a fact it will all work out, but at the same time it is really scary. Being a grownup is not easy man.
=========================================================================
I'm going to commit to write, for at least 10 minutes daily. I'll probably end up just rambling, but whatever it takes. This is going to be my own way of self therapy.
Gonna take a break now and actually do some work...
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)